HOW TO OVERCOME INFERIORITY COMPLEX
67Inferiority Complex Cure
Feeling inferior is a disease. Feeling inferior to someone richer, smarter, skillful, taller, shorter, healthy, beautiful, hardworking..........absolutely anyone is the symptom of the people suffering from this disease. Once again inferiority complex an emotion is experienced by the body. It is a conditioned reflex and once conditioned, it is like living in hell.
People with better clothes, better cars, better houses, even with better mobile handsets makes you feel inferior. If you are suffering from this disease, you will find something in every one to feel inferior of. And you are completely blind to the plus points in you. Rarely you become aware of your plus points...........but that is rare because you are busy looking for something better in others and feel inferior.
Living with this disease is worst way of living. Sometimes trying to get out of this situation, you may try and achieve something, but that will not be useful because you are blind to your achievements. All psychological diseases are ego caused. So dealing with your ego is the only way to cure this disease. There will be many instances and days when you experience egolessness and hence cured.
Remember the days of your first love. A sense of egolessness, not inferior to anyone and not superior....you just felt like love......an emotion that can be felt only by the soul. Now that is the way to live optimally. The inferiority and superiority complexes are just conditioned reflexes, conditioned and impressed on your ego. Love is your true nature, and you don't have to learn or unlearn anything....you just have to realize your true nature of love.
Meditate on the days of your first love....re-live those feeling.....experience those sensations.............say and continue to say "I am love" till your mind accepts and continue this affirmation.....this truth. It may take days and months to succeed and live optimally and have to continue lifelong. This may look simple but it works......Remember love is part of wealth.
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@ Venkat..hii i m a 20 year ols tudent frm delhi university...though i was a very confident child during my school days...but i became complexed as i ceme into my coleege..have bean suffering frm inferiority complex and it feels choked nopw..i m depressed..i m lacking confidence...all my frnds are quite rich..they hav access to all the best things ..and i feel weak in frnt of them..have read ur article but culdn't understand vat actually ineed to do...please help...m nt happy...this is my email id..surabhi_0092yahoo.co.in
I completely agree. For a LONG time, since i was a kid, i was very low confident. I didnt know what love is. I always tried to relate to people i spoke to with my ego and always attempted to 'fix' my ego so that i can 'fit in' and be 'normal'. Im 19 now and only about 3 years ago did i have my first experience of feeling love. It was the best feeling ever, and like you said, i didnt feel a sence of superiority or inferiority when i spoke to others. I was so overwhelmed by the feeling that i just loved everyone i talked to, and it was amazing to see them feel happy and loved because of me. It was absolutely beautiful. I could just let my soul speak and didnt have any concerns about how i should 'act' in order to fit the criteria of what i thought was self confidence. I then realised that love is the key to low confidence and inferiority complex. The inferiority was only what i labeled my ego to be because of the way i came off. The real me was none of that. Thank you for this article, it put a huge smile on my face because you made SO much sense. Thank you again
@Ravemaster begin with focusing outward of yourself. There is good article on "The Conquest of Happiness" by Bertrand Russell at http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-12-ste Please do read.
What happens if the person with the complex has never experienced love?
hey hi,i feel inferiority complex with by gf. she belongs to a well to do family and i belong to a middle class family. she is a single child and gets all the attention of the world. i feel insecure as well as inferior to her. please help me out this has made my life hell
@Shola,
Thanks for you comment. Seems, it is not your friends but you who feel you are inferior to others. Sometimes our education, elders, and religion wants us to have certain standards and personality traits to be considered perfect. We always measure ourselves with those standards which we somehow could not achieve and as a result continue to feel inferior.
Often we have an image of our ideal self and the distance between this ideal self and real self also makes us feel inadequate. Feeling inferior is not always bad.... it cultivates introspection and self analysis in you and that helps you grow. Cultivating a passion and focusing on it rather than focusing on ourselves is what makes people great.
Good day,please infact when i saw the topic i was so happy b'cos it was as if u have seen my mind.my question is that i always feel inferior when i go out althought all my friends always admire me .they said am naturally beautiful but still am not contended with that. please what should i do to get rid of it
thanks for the info
Reginald
Many creative people suffer from this type of problem. The reason is simple, society in general do not value creativity as much as money which is more a tangible for them. Making friends with people who has similar interests in very important because you need someone who can appreciate your creativity. Try and make friends and try to spend most of your time with them.
In general public, you are bound to feel like a fish out of water.
My own case is very different from feeling inferior to people having things i do not have. i am a very creative person in all ramifications of arts, talk about drawing, writing and singing, yet i behave like someone who is so worthless. i read articles on how i can develop my self-image by thinking positive, all that i have put into practice and nothing is ever changing. as a matter of fact i feel like dieing because this does not allow me use my talent, as i would love to be a musician. i am always particluarly afraid of cars while i work on the road and always shiver when i see people. please i need an advice from you people on what to do to over come this deadly problem that am facing. my email is oneinaplenty@yahoo.com
Inferiority complex always arises when we see any person he/she having anyting superior to us for eg. looks, clothes, gadgets, money, property, like wise. But the most natural thing that occurs in the mind at that time is okay! they have got more but I am also okay with whatever I have got, may be in future I may get that or more than that. This type of thinking usually makes us feel less inferior and helps to achieve confidence in our day-to-day work.
very interesting way for outcoming this complex..
Venkat, when I first read your article it made so much sense to me. It is so biological to live with these complexes, and sadly many ppl are more emotional than others and therefore suffer more from these emotions. Too much of anything is not good, feeling inferior sometimes may be beneficial, but too often and for no good reason, and forgetting who you are and how valuable you are is horrible. I fell in love with Jesus Christ long ago, and for a long time I was filled with love, it felt really good, a sense of peace that banished anger and sexual immoral desires, great revelation it was!!! I lost that love, it really did not get rid of my inferiority complex, and neither did human relationships, though I was better when I focused on a almighty power that is pure love and peace. MY question is what does the road to meditating on love look like? is it complicated, or can I just start now. I loved some gfs like crazy, but it never compared to how much love I had and received back from Christ. But do I return to a faith and that place that is gone? it is a very difficult decision, Jesus kept saying, "you must lose your life, to gain it". that is so true, I must lose these wants and inferiority thoughts, so that I can be new, filled with love, and become an alien in a harsh world that was build for the fit who are able to beat me to survival.
Thank you, superiorty complex is a decease but the person himself many not be suffering because of this. But many a times this is a defence mechanism for the person's inferiorty complex.
You don't see them suffering as such like the one with inferiorty complex, but they lack the ability to connect with others and hence lack to the ability to experience love.
Venkat,Congratulation for this wonderful article you have written.I absolutley loved the content.Maybe you should write about superiority complex also.Thanx
Dear Bonita,
I took the liberty to answer your question though I am not Snakewoman. Are you an Indian, I thought only Indians have this dark-and-fair skin problem. If your bf is a sweetheart, just showing him your comment here will solve your problem. Talking negatively about people with darker skin itself shows that he is suffering from some kind of inferiority complex. It makes him feel superior to you, but this technique is useless and gives only temporary relief from inferiority complex.
Dear Snakewoman,
I am experiencing inferiority complex after i met my bf now.... as he has fair complexion than me .... before i was a confident woman coz i have sharp looks....... and most my frens say i have charm that makes people look at me whenever i enter a restaurant or lecture room.. how should i overcome this problem when my bf says he want me as i am....but in our everyday conversation he always talk negatively abt darker skin people.........that upsets me very much............even i have body likea model and sharp features. other than that he is a sweetheart.
How should i overcome my problem? please help me
Love is one of the best medicine of anything else. Before, i have a very strong fear and shame. Eversince i started studying because of the condition of my skin. But now this conditon of my skin the one brought me a goodluck of my life. I am so thankful for the Fruitfull Love i have now. I mean I found a man who love me for what I am. Gave me a brand new life and taught me how to love myself.
Dear Anteegarden
Thank you. Now I know why I felt Walter's point of view was also right . Thank you once again for the comment.
Great article Venkat. I agree that it's a conditional response because I know I've battled with it myself in the past. I believe Walter and you are both right just saying something a different way.
In my opinion he's giving his experience from a left brain point of view and you're more of a right brain point of view. I tend to believe in love being the ultimate cure and come more from a right brain solution while anylizing it from a left brain point of view.
You've done great work. This is a topic I wish was talked about more because it's a really a big challenge amongst people today.
No drugs needed. Just love!
Dear Walter
I define inferiorty as that habitual feeling of uneasiness which one feels when one is around people with presumed superiorty. I call this a habitual feeling because I think this is a habit which after sometime becomes conditional reflex.
I strongly believe that meditating on love is the only cure to this symptom as you said by curing the underlying psychological issue whatever that is.
Thanks for the comment.
I don't agree that inferiority is necessarily a disease. I believe it can be either a symptom of an underlying psychological issue or a sense of competition. (Whether competition itself is healthy is a matter for another discussion). Inferiority starts to be problematic when it either creates a defeatist attitude in the subject or an automatic urge to copy someone else's success. Inferiority is often used to describe a multitude of feelings incorrectly, and I believe does a disservice to individuals battling with each of those feelings. Morever, the notion of "attracting wealth" is equally superficial. Besides implying that one is taking wealth away from others (exactly what the bit on inferiority implies one should not do), it creates a notion that becoming wealthy is largely a matter of "wishing." Perhaps it is after a certain tipping point... but for most individuals working for what they accomplish, this is unreal. I believe that true empowerment shies away from misleading people into a false sense of "wishful thinking" and provides them with pragmatic tools they can use to overcome their condition(s).
pradnya 3 months ago
hi i m complex coz of the intelligent crowd surrounding me,they are sooo intelligent and i m average from my school days bt this complex is growing severe as i m growing
i feel that i m the most dumb person in this crowd